Looking for funny insults? Can insults really be funny? Oh, yeah! Shakespeare proved that long ago. He may be more famous for his love quotes and long, philosophical soliloquies, but he was also a master of wit. And nowhere does his wit sparkle more brilliantly than in the numerous insults peppering his plays.
Find Funny Insults by Shakespeare:
If you are looking for funny insults, then you’ll find loads in Shakespeare’s words. The good news is that you don’t need to dig into his plays to find them. Although, I do recommend adding them to your ‘books to read’ list. They are grand, and quite entertaining. However, if you don’t want to do that, just try the Shakespearean Insulter tool to find some mind-boggling funny insults.
Shakespearean Insulter is a very simple tool hitting you with funny insults by Shakespeare. Check it out at http://www.pangloss.com/seidel/Shaker/. It will present you with an insult as soon as you visit it. Do you want more? Just click on the button ‘Insult me again.’ And, well, get insulted again. Here are some insults that I was hit with:
“I will most humbly take my leave of you. You cannot, sir, take from me anything that I will not more willingly part withal.” Hamlet
“[Thou] hath more hair than wit, and more faults than hairs, and more wealth than faults.” The Two Gentlemen of Verona
“In civility thou seem’st so empty.” As You Like It.
Create your own Shakespearean Insults:
If you want to create your own funny insults using Shakespeare’s words, visit HERE. You’ll find three columns of words on this page. Just pick one word from each column and combine them. Simple.
Going back to the Shakespearean Insulter tool, when you use it, you’ll notice several links under it. Out of these, the following two are the ones I like best
The Wiz Quip link leads you to a page very similar to the insulter. But instead of insults, it serves quips or witty quotes. It works in the same way as the Insulter. Just click on the button ‘Hit me again’ and get a new quip. Here’s what I got when I tried it:
“Would you live with ease, do what you ought, and not what you please,” Benjamin Franklin
“No matter how old a mother is she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement,” Florida Scott-Maxwell
“Expert: Avoids the small errors while sweeping on to the grand fallacy.”
Another link under the Shakespearan Insulter too is titled Zenith Poetry. If you click on it, you’ll reach a verse-making tool. You just add a sentence in it. The tool will serve you with a short verse starting from that sentence. The verse will be silly and senseless, but fun nevertheless. Here’s a sample of what I got:
“it’s raining today
I’d like to substitute dirt for food
Doing this reminds me off Norway
although some rain would be as good”
This page doesn’t look quite polished. It has several other links under the poetry tool. Some of these work, some don’t. But the poetry making tool by itself is a lot of fun.
So, if you are looking for funny insults of the Shakespearean caliber, you now know where to go. The Shakespearean Insulter, Wiz Quip, and Zenith Poetry are all simple and free tools. But they are very entertaining. Worth checking out.